If you’re getting ready for an outdoor adventure, do you prefer

a) a pro to be with you on the trail and to help with carrying stuff
b) a pro to train you in advance and help you get ready
c) hit the trail solo, absorbing inspiration along the way from different sources

All are right, just depending on what works best for you now. No shame in your trail game.

Hello! Oh how I have missed writing to you!

When I last wrote to you in late October, I was called to take a break from reaching out professionally, and go inside for a while. Clean some things out and take a look around. So that happened. Intensity ensued. Going inside oneself….not for the faint of heart!!   (Nor is not going inside not for the faint of heart, they are just different flavors of challenging, in my experience.) Anyhoo, it feels like Christmas Day itself was the culmination of what I was supposed to see and experience with this year-end cleansing.

Here are some of the results of the terrain that I am mostly excited, yet also a bit shyly vulnerable, to share with you:

~I am tired of receiving email offers. I am tired of signing up for lists that then send me a canned email every day that generate a false sense of scarcity about the time limit running out for me to decide whether I will buy or not. I am tired of things that cost $197 (“valued at $497!”). I am tired of “10 SIMPLE STEPS TO {whatever lofty goal I’ve already been working towards for a long time without it seeming simple despite my earnest efforts}”. Good news…I don’t have to run my business that way if I don’t want to.

~I went waaaaay in to fear of financial insecurity during this internal adventure. Even remembering the feeling tone now, makes me a little shaky and wobbly and intimidated. I felt that Chicken Little/the sky is falling!/there’s not enough money!, set of sensations and thoughts. They seemed so believable at the time, and just in this moment looking back, they seem so completely unbelievable. Absolutely nothing changed in my external circumstances between yesterday and today, so that’s a significant shift.  (Shift happens, heehee.)

~I was shown a couple of different types of resistance to hiring growth help, while on this cleansing adventure. (I’ll share a specific recent example of each type of resistance in a different section below.)

~It was revealed to me where I was stopping short of fully trusting the Divine in the professional realm. I hadn’t seen that one coming and I’m grateful for the insight, even though I’m disappointed to know that block has been there. I feel a little bit like a D student who thought she was going to get an A, but luckily I don’t actually believe the Divine gives grades on spiritual performance.

~Part of working with the newly-discovered block is realizing I have felt angry with the Divine for not sending me more information about my purpose and how specifically to fulfill it. Turns out, being mad that I haven’t gotten something is not the same as asking a question. Go figure. So once I humbled myself to ask, I was shown this….

I am like an outdoor adventure tour guide in my financial organizing business.

I haven’t done every outdoor adventure there is to do yet, yet I’m a badass when it comes to being present with and stoked about certain adventures that most often lead to freedom, clarity and peace. Some clients hire my guiding services to teach them how to travel the routes I’ve done successfully. That includes explaining gear selection and how to use it, pointing out ways to circumvent some of the sink holes, and suggesting conditioning exercises for being able to have the stamina to continue the adventure, no matter what the weather is. I also teach trail etiquette and how to communicate well with close companions.

Here is a bit more detailed info about what these “routes” can include in my financial organizing:


Yet other clients hire my services as a sherpa. Carrying gear and giving live guidance while on the trail is actually crunching someones’ numbers (monthly at a minimum), sending reports, keeping financial tasks checked off the list, and contributing to the client having the adventure they’ve identified they want to have. I am next to those clients on the trail carrying some of the load, but I can’t walk for them if they want to have the adventure. Also, carrying the bags is more labor-intensive than teaching someone how to make the journey, so I clearly have a more limited number of clients for whom I can serve as sherpa.

I learned this year that I’m not interested in serving the clients who want the sherpa to walk apart from them and be seen but not heard, and to only give numbers input when the storm has already hit and we’re not actually prepared. There’s nothing wrong with clients choosing that type of more background service, just as there is nothing wrong with my choosing to not offer that type of service moving ahead. A win win! May we all get matched with our best traveling companions.

Those who learn of my services, are interested in making the proverbial outdoor adventure, and have not hired my services, I assume, either:

  • Are do-it-yourself’ers. We can wave at each other on the trail and swap tips on occasion, if they are the friendly DIY types.
  • Have hired another outdoor adventure outfit who has a different price point (either up or down from mine)
  • Are not convinced that I know what I know about outdoor adventures, or, similarly, see themselves as wanting to have a type of outdoor adventure that I haven’t yet done
  • Know they want to take the adventure, but have decided (consciously or not) that they are not ready to hire services because that would change the level of input required from them on many levels

All good, all good. This recent trek reminded me of just how intensely difficult the feelings can be when out there in the open air. I understand why some never make the trek, and others delay starting.

“IT’S JUST SO BEAUTIFUL ONCE WE’RE OUT THERE!”, is my gift and offer to those who do want to make the journey. I can’t promise it’s easy, but I can promise that if your choices are in aligment with certain truths, that the view and sense of self-satisfaction at making the journey, are spectacular.

A Tale of Two Types of Resistance to Growth Work

Continuing from the section above:
Type A: I know the thing would probably be good for me to do, but I’m just not willing to do it right now. I can make up reasons, but really it comes down to, I’m not going to do that now.

I recently was told about a local meditation group with a teacher whose work I have long admired. I literally cried when I heard about it, with the joy and relief of learning about the group’s existence. I am as clear as clear can be that I need to get to this group at least once.

Yet I notice I keep pushing it ahead in to the future on my calendar. It’s not a reflection of what the teacher is offering; it’s a reflection that I am choosing other priorities on those evenings for whatever reason. I am working diligently to not force myself to get to the group with any shame or sense of punishment, a longstanding habit that I’d like to let take a nap for, like, EVER.

For anyone out there who “shoulds” themselves about working with a financial organizer, I want to hand you a white flag and celebrate with you as you put the self-judgment down. Shoulding myself, no matter how good the idea, feels so terrible in my experience. I’m not even Shoulding you to stop Shoulding yourself. Just extending an invitation to take your time, feel your feelings, and choose to move ahead if and when you are ready for the work.

Type B: I’m not too certain it will work, I can think of excuses to not do it, but I keep getting drawn back to considering saying yes to it. I’m worried on many levels that it may not be what I need, but I’m consistently interested, so I’m willing to give it a shot.

I surprised the heck out of myself and signed up for a fitness training package. I have never lifted “real” weights before this, I usually need to be tricked in to working up a sweat (thank you, tennis!), and I got a traffic ticket that is going to really help fill Mill Valley’s struggling coffers when I pay it (Cough coughREALLY?!cough cough.), so the unexpected spend was a big surprise.

Any of these things alone would have been enough for me to be able to justify not doing the training package.

I just couldn’t stop thinking about it! It’s not like I “wanted” to do it, in the way that makes it seem fun or breezy. It’s not like I’m convinced I will actually work hard enough over time to actually meet the goals I have for it. I just kept thinking about it, took my time, the urge didn’t go away, so I took a chance and signed up for it.

And so far it is FANTASTIC! I keep getting support for moving ahead, and the detracting things have the volume turned down. So that’s neat. There was fear, and negativity, and even some hopelessness, but something inside of me told me to do it. And it was right.

Someone who helped inspire me to believe this fitness transition was possible, is this awesome amazing woman named Jenn. If I was in the city I would for sure be getting my butt kicked at her outdoor training classes! (For those of you want to get fit and who live or work in the city, check her out and please tell her I say hello! She does training classes for individuals, small groups, and also groups of employees straight out of their company offices.)


Oh! I Speaking of working in the city! I have an office in San Francisco now, every Tuesday between Jan 12 and the end of April. (In the Laurel Heights neighborhood.) Will be glad to reconnect with some of you who live there and haven’t wanted to schlep to Marin or Skype, and/or those who want to get a cleaned-up money picture and plan to kick off 2016 right.

Here are some more specifics of what I offer:

  • choosing a financial tracking system, out of the myriad available; training for how to use it, as well as troubleshooting and customizing it; planning for how to actually use it!
  • setting financial goals, and planning for tracking them; tying these goals to individual priorities and releasing “shoulds”
  • supporting couples in making decisions, setting goals and improving how they discuss finances together
  • making a strategic plan for debt reduction
  • and I definitely remember in Q1s past, making plans with people to clean up any overly-heated holiday spending!

Well, that’s it for this double edition! I hope this message finds you well in every sense possible. If you feel fear or stress around this stuff, know you’re not alone, for whatever it’s worth.

Also, I know it can be awkward to talk with friends and family about money. However, your insides may have you remember someone who seems like they could use a boost when it comes to financial behavior and choices. Please do forward this email to them. You don’t even have to tell them why you’re sending it. I’ll tell them for you, right here….I care about you, and would love for you to know there is someone who likes talking about this stuff, even if you just want to glance at what she has to say for now.

Prayers all around, for all of us~