So, what are you buying and why?
A theme has been up in my business lately, so I know it’s something that I get to examine, too. So neat how that happens.
I see and feel when there is a disconnect between *what* someone wants to purchase and *how* they expect to feel after they purchase it. Heck, maybe even during the purchase there’s room for a momentary happy-hit!
I am not anti-purchasing. Not by any means. I only know what works best for me, and that is to have planned my money out as much as possible before I start spending it. I am going to spend. I am going to, good lord willing, enjoy my purchases. I just want to be conscious about the process. Lacking that is what gets me and many others in hot water; when we say I WANT IT NO MATTER WHAT, and procure items without an eye on the big picture of our finances, we’re headed for a boil. And, even trickier when we say, YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, I NEED IT, that’s really a doozy to sort out when left unchecked. (I think that phrase is directed at the bank account, as if there is a little man controlling the numbers in the bank account like the one who turns the refrigerator light on and off.)
I find a gorgeous, beautiful, and yes, sometimes nauseating, experience with being in reality about the numbers I’m working with, now. I love planning, I love goal setting, and I also cannot pay my rent and for my delicious organic groceries with simply a plan or a goal. So I really like, and feel safest and most respected, when I’m in alignment with my actual resources.
Here are some things to notice, if you find yourself living above your means:
~Scenario: an urge to buy a plane ticket for a trip arises.
Do you actually want to go to that place? Do you want the experience of traveling, and all that entails? Does this feel like Higher Wisdom to which you surrender? Or, are you bored and want to generate something exciting in the future to “look forward to”? Are you feeling trapped in your present somehow, and you’d like to escape it?
No right answers here, and no bad choices, when it comes down to it. I just love it how curiosity and inquiry come totally freely, when we’re willing to go there.
~Scenario: you’re invited to a wedding. You’ve been working hard to get your debts paid down, but suddenly it feels *serious* that you need to buy the new spouses an expensive gift. You sweat wondering where the money will come from, but see no alternative to this.
OK, so what do you perceive will happen if you do not buy them an expensive gift? Will the Wedding Police shake you down and force you to leave the party? Will these important friends turn their back on you if the gift costs $60 instead of $200? If you were to tell these friends your Truth, would they mock you? (I’m imagining someone sounding like Adam Sandler, and everyone standing in a circle laughing AT you and not WITH you. And they point. Oh, the dreaded pointing and laughing.)
Hey, snap out of it! This likely will not happen! And if it did, I implore you to get better quality friends, anyway!
~Scenario: ok, here’s one directly from my life now, honestly.
So you just got a used car since you moved to a rural area after 15 years of shlepping around an urban area, carless. You deal internally with daily reality of weird-ass thoughts around food and body image, which is part of the legacy of the American woman, apparently. You gain weight due to less schlepping, and you suddenly MUST have a bike. You simply must. So what if it hurt your body before? So what if you don’t actually know how you would make time to take this new exercise on? So what if you need to get leaner with expenses since you moved? JUST BUY IT. IT IS THE ANSWER.
This one had me in its clutches for a while. Luckily, I have some practice with not immediately acting on impulse.
I may still buy a bike. It’s green, and it IS great exercise.
But I want to make purchases only in alignment with the rest of my needs and wants. I did factor in some money to my May spending plan, in case I do want to invest in a bike. But I’m still kind of marinating the idea, and doing some research.
Buying the bike will not make me instantly lose weight. It’s just not the answer to that. It can help, and I could potentially have fun with it. But if I buy it in a mad panic, and then force myself to use it, how much fun would that be? That would be like paying for misery, and I did not put that line item in my spending plan!