I say I will do something, having every intention to follow through. Then I don’t.
I’m not proud of it, so then the wrinkle gets wrinklier if I try to hide my DBS from others. (Especially if their names are on the ball I dropped.) The situation gets complicated in my mind, and I start to have more crud to manage than if I just went ahead and did the doggone thing and got it over with!
Here is a quiz to see if you might have DBS~
Question 1: If you are a business owner or independent contractor, have you paid your Q1 2015 estimated income taxes?
b. What are estimated income taxes? When were they due?
c. Screw the government! They’re just going to take my money to war, anyway!
Question 2: Back in February, you made a late New Year’s resolution to see in March if you actually used the gym or should just go ahead and cancel the membership. It’s late April now, so what did you decide?
a. It motivated me to get to the gym weekly. I decided that if I can keep that up most of the time, it’s still worth paying for.
b. Oops, I forgot I ever thought that in February! I can’t remember if I went or not in March.
c. I didn’t go in March, but I really should so I’ll keep paying for it and hope to get there…eventually.
Question 3: Did you max out your 401K for 2014?
b. WTF? Are you speaking English?
c. Why does it matter, 2014 is over anyway. I never save as much as I should. Why bother, the market is likely to crash soon, anyway…I read it on the internet.
Question 4: When will you create your May spending plan/budget?
a. I have time on the calendar this weekend for it. I’ll let my accountability partner know once I’ve done it.
b. Why do I have to think about this now?
c. I don’t think that really works for me. It just stresses me out to look at the numbers. I think I can just feel my way through it and stuff should work out…eventually…
You’re a big-ol smarty pants, so you see the pattern here.
A. answers, little to no DBS in those areas
B. answers, you may have the Foggy/Fuzzy flavor of DBS. A bit o’ the ostrich approach. Good medicine for that is to identify one thing you’ve been avoiding and calendar some time to research it. Perhaps share a timeline goal with a trusted friend or advisor to bring that item to completion.
C. answers, you may have the Crusader/Avoiding flavor of DBS. I get it, I’m a passionate idealist, too. But avoiding paying my taxes, for example, because I don’t like some of how the government works is really begging for trouble. It’s not a mature, sustainable solution. I can rest in mature, sustainable solutions. I cannot rest in avoiding action because I’m upset or unhappy about something longterm.
I’ll Show Your Mine
The inspiration for this topic came to me today as I walked the Tennessee Valley trail out to the ocean. I noticed the thoughts that were in the way of my being present with the gorgeous wildflowers, soft clouds, and hearing and smelling the ocean waves crashing on the shore.
I’ve had DBS around these particulars. Thank you for letting me use you as a powerful witness to my wanting to bring these things to the mature, sustainable closure I mentioned above.
1) E & O insurance. (Errors and Omissions)
I have heard about this type of insurance all 5 years I’ve been a bookkeeper. Each time I hear about it, I have such a mixed range of emotions. I don’t want to need it (aka I don’t want to pay for it). I want to trust that all of my clients know that I always have the best of intentions. I don’t want to think of being sued, and how yukky, expensive, and devastating that would be.
And yet, I haven’t really researched the insurance to even know how much it costs. Ostrich alert! Seems pretty clear how to move that forward, right? Yet I haven’t yet…the little slip of paper reminding me to research it has been sitting on the chair next to my desk for months now.
But now I have YOU in my corner, my little secret weapon! Next month I’ll briefly report any progress made (or not). I already feel much more motivated, now that I know that you know.
2) Retirement stuff.
My tax preparer gave me some homework for my new individual 401K. I had every intention to follow up on it and let her know the results right away. Each time the thought popped up to do it, or when I saw the note (also sitting on the chair), I got hit with a wave of “I don’t wanna”. So I haven’t. I notice negatively judging myself for not yet knowing the answer. Ouch. Who wants to hang out in an area when hearing mean things like that? Mature, sustainable closure will look like making the call, asking the question, repeating back their answer to make sure I understood it, and then letting my tax preparer know. Still don’t wanna do it, but now that you know, it is about 5000% more likely to happen in the next month.
3) Old flip flops.
I haven’t told anyone this. Releasing a little shame packet here. I like to take my tennis shoes and socks off immediately after I play tennis. So this makes the experience relevant about 3-4 times every week. I’ve been changing in to an ancient pair of Walgreen’s flip flops; it’s better than keeping my wet socks on, because my little toesies love to breathe. But what happens is these 10 year-old floppers turn my heels black and sooty. It is gross to behold! I didn’t even realize how much I had been hiding my feet until I got a massage and wanted to apologize when the therapist got to my feet. Yikes.
I realized the DBS in this situation is the cheapskate part of me that doesn’t like to spend money on anything! The Depression-era boot-strapper gene is alive and well inside of me. Why buy new flip flops when I have perfectly good ones (that just have chunks out of the bottom, are worn nearly all the way through, and are giving me temporary dirt tattoos).
Another flavor of DBS is the guilt and shame I feel about exploiting child labor anywhere. This means likely that I will need to do a bit of research about which company I support. Don’t feel like doing that, either.
The action I took tonight was to just throw the old pair away. They served me well until they just couldn’t get the job done any longer. Via con Dios, old flippers.
I hope to have snazzier flips to show you next month!
If I’m coming across with any glib, “Just Do It!” energy, please accept my sincere apologies. You’re all intelligent, capable, delightful people. You obviously get to decide what your highest priority is in any given moment. It just humbles me that even when I LIKE this stuff for the most part, there are still those open areas that I haven’t brought to their dignified closure.
I’m fascinated by the green, yellow, and red lights that the psyche creates for bringing things to life or not. I’d love to hear any things you may have thought of on your DBS list! Feel free to email me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I also feel inspired to offer a free something.
I’m listening to Cheryl Strayed’s awesome book, Tiny Beautiful Things. Excerpts from her advice column “Dear Sugar”. I cry in the car regularly listening to this, and feel so inspired by her honesty.
If you’d like to send me a question about dealing with finances on the spiritual path, and have me answer it anonymously in a future newsletter to share the wealth with others, please submit it here. No one ever has to know who it came from, so you can have the comfort of full anonymity.